Sry I called you an 8
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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