You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
