Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
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