It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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