you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
