The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
