I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
