Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
