so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize