I'm so fucking centered right now
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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