Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
