Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
