so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Randomize
