he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
