answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
whose ass print is on the piano?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize