I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the day after is always just damage control
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize