You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
