i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
