I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
