You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
