Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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