The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
