Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
