No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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