He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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