I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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