some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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