You just made me feel so damn special
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
