Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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