So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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