u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize
