We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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