Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
