ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
