I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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