We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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