Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
