shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
