i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
