I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
