That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
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