physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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