i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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