apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
