Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
