Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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