people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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