Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I need a burrito and a hug.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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