Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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