i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
