she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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