flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
