Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My liver just broke up with me...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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