The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
