just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
