Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
