even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
