I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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