I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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