I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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