Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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