i think my tv is drunk
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
