So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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