i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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