I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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