scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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