"it" just moved
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize