yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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