I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You may now shotgun with the bride
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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