Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
