But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
