you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
