break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
