hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize