we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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