After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
