You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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