Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
